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Man of my dreams...
Jul. 3rd, 2006 | 03:31 pm
I'm totally shocked. I met this guy back about two weeks ago. I know this might sound a bit crazy, but we've stayed up at all hours of the nights just talking about anything and everything. It's absolutely wonderful. I have completely fallen in love with him. He has two boys from a prior marriage who's names are Theoren and Gage. Theoren is 5 and Gage is 3. I have not seen them in person yet but from the pictures the two of them are just adorable, just like their daddy.
Jeremy (the guy) is seriously the most amazing guy i have ever met. Every time that we talk my heart grows more and more fond of him. How that's possible i don't know being since i'm completely in love with him already. He says everything that i have always wished i would someday hear. It's not fake either. I guess i'm just so used to guys being complete assholes that i figured all guys were the same. Jeremy is just the sweetest guy ever. I feel sorry for him at times though because i tend to think he'll change just like all my past boyfriends did. He tells me he won't change. My heart totally wants to believe him completely, but in the back of my mind i'm sitting there thinking...and i question the fact that he'll always be this sweet. It's because in my past relationships i was told the same things and yet they still changed and turned in to total jerks.
My heart has been broken so many times that in a sense i guess i'm just nervous to believe the words he says. I really do love him and i hope that i don't push him away due to my unwillingness to trust him whole-heartedly. It's not that i don't WANT to trust him because by all means, i do. It's just that i'm scared to take that jump for fear that i won't have someone there to catch me. Especially after such a hard fall from my prior relationship with Justin who i was with for 4 years and engaged to for 1 year out of those 4 years.
Jeremy is a sweetheart and i hope he realizes that my not TOTALLY trusting him has NOTHING to do with him in general. It's souly because of my past. My past will haunt me forever and unfortunately, i must say it could become a reason that someone would leave me. I am trying to think positively. I am trying to move forward with my life. Gradually i will be able to move on and get over it. I hope.
If Jeremy ever reads this i hope he knows how special he is to me and how much i truly do love him. I love you baby!!!
XoXo,
Steph
Jeremy (the guy) is seriously the most amazing guy i have ever met. Every time that we talk my heart grows more and more fond of him. How that's possible i don't know being since i'm completely in love with him already. He says everything that i have always wished i would someday hear. It's not fake either. I guess i'm just so used to guys being complete assholes that i figured all guys were the same. Jeremy is just the sweetest guy ever. I feel sorry for him at times though because i tend to think he'll change just like all my past boyfriends did. He tells me he won't change. My heart totally wants to believe him completely, but in the back of my mind i'm sitting there thinking...and i question the fact that he'll always be this sweet. It's because in my past relationships i was told the same things and yet they still changed and turned in to total jerks.
My heart has been broken so many times that in a sense i guess i'm just nervous to believe the words he says. I really do love him and i hope that i don't push him away due to my unwillingness to trust him whole-heartedly. It's not that i don't WANT to trust him because by all means, i do. It's just that i'm scared to take that jump for fear that i won't have someone there to catch me. Especially after such a hard fall from my prior relationship with Justin who i was with for 4 years and engaged to for 1 year out of those 4 years.
Jeremy is a sweetheart and i hope he realizes that my not TOTALLY trusting him has NOTHING to do with him in general. It's souly because of my past. My past will haunt me forever and unfortunately, i must say it could become a reason that someone would leave me. I am trying to think positively. I am trying to move forward with my life. Gradually i will be able to move on and get over it. I hope.
If Jeremy ever reads this i hope he knows how special he is to me and how much i truly do love him. I love you baby!!!
XoXo,
Steph